Couple Counseling Tips On Arguing With Your Partner

By September 7, 2018Couples Therapy

Disagreements are normal in any new relationship. You will have your own likes and dislikes that may contradict your partner’s likes and dislikes. We are all different individuals, which is why it’s always important to discuss them with your partner. Arguments will always happen in any relationship and these healthy arguments can have positive effects on your relationship. So how can you engage in positive relationship-building arguments?

Tips On How To Engage In Arguments

Being in an argument can sometimes release your anger. Anger can affect the way you talk and can sometimes enable you to use foul or extreme language. Words that you don’t normally use may come out based on your frustration and emotion, but they aren’t really true. If you are angry and wish to converse with your partner, then try to think about your words first or step back and let yourself cool down.

Letting your partner know your thoughts and what you would like to happen can help strengthen your relationship. In most cases when you are in an argument, you will likely point out what are the flaws of your partner and say that you don’t like it. However, this can be quite offensive to some people which may fuel their anger and try to push negative thoughts back at you. Your partner should know your thoughts and the best way to do that is to simply tell them, “I feel this when you do this, but I would like it if you do this instead.” Giving your partner your thoughts and ideas can help them to try matching your preference.

Most individuals in arguments don’t allow each other to speak their mind and will often exchange words without taking their partner’s thoughts into consideration. If you know that you are about to have an argument, then it’s important that you listen to your partner and let them speak without being interrupted. Let your partner speak their mind and think about what he or she is saying to you. Try to see things from their point of view. You can validate where they’re coming from, even if you don’t agree with them. You’ll be able to think of your own statements or perhaps a solution in this kind of approach.

What Do Counselors Suggest When An Argument Gets Out Of Hand?

One major cause of a break-up is when couples are arguing too much that one decides to start threatening to end their relationship. We are simply overwhelmed by our emotions during an argument. You love your partner, which is why you are arguing. However, if it does come to a point where you can’t handle the argument much longer, then take a time out instead. It’s always better to hold an argument and ask for a break; this will give you and your partner time to think about the argument. It’s important to then use this time to calm yourself down.

Choosing the right time to argue is also a great way to start healthy arguments. Never engage your partner when he or she is in a bad mood. This will only increase their frustration and can take it out on you during the argument. The best way for you to engage your partner in healthy arguments is to be with a professional counselor. Not only will you both be able to speak your minds, you’ll both be able to get ideas and solutions that can further strengthen your relationship.

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