relationship Archives – Foundations Counseling

September 21, 2018

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Useful Tips For Couples

Many people starting romantic relationships think that it will be easy. However, most couples without a proper plan or guide in maintaining a healthy relationship often break up at some point. This is also because they haven’t fully understood each other yet, and have rushed themselves into a romantic relationship. If you are thinking of going to the next level with the person you are currently in love with, then here are some tips you can use to maintain a healthy relationship.

4 Tips Couples Should Do in Their Relationship

1. Think about what your partner really likes

Make sure you think about what life will likely be with your future partner. How do you think your relationship will go after a year? The best way for you to figure this out is to learn more about your partner. Identify the significant differences of your partner when it comes to money, family, household chores, basically their daily lifestyle. Discuss these with your partner and collaborate together. Recognize what your partner responds well to (such as compliments or acts of service) and try to increase these behaviors.

2. Things to do to help your maintain your relationship

Find out things about your partner that pleases you and always compliment your partner. Learn to surprise your partner from time to time. This allows your partner to know how thoughtful you are and let him or her feel your affection. However, if your partner didn’t appreciate your effort, then you should at least try to show some disappointment. Don’t always accept or ignore your own negative feelings.

3. Identify situations first before acting with your emotions

We can’t always have a perfect partner. There will always be some flaws that may trigger your anger. However, if you do encounter such a scenario, you should identify how the problem occurred or what is the situation. Don’t use anger to solve problems, think before you act and you will eventually come to a more positive resolution.

4. Listen to your partner and provide support

Many couples always use their partner as a reliever when something has bothered them in their day. Releasing things that frustrates them in their mind is a great way to foster togetherness. Be patient and offer your listening ear, then provide support to your partner that can comfort him or her. Doing this will strengthen your relationship and help eliminate secrets from being kept.

How Couples Counseling Helps

Couples counseling isn’t only for troubled couples that are often arguing. Seeking a couples counselor’s aid is also an effective way to maintain your healthy relationship. This is because couples counseling can help you identify your partner’s wants and needs, and know what else you may be lacking in your relationship.

Professional couples counselors can always provide you with the necessary tools and advice you can use to help you maintain your relationship. It will not only strengthen your current relationship bond, but it will also help you prepare for your future.

September 14, 2018

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Signs That Tell You That You Need Marriage Counseling

By Doug | Couples Therapy | No Comments

Conflicts will always occur before and after you get married to your partner. That is part of growing your relationship and increasing your bonds. However, even married couples still get into arguments that may sometimes have negative effects in their relationship. Some negative effects can be that your partner may stop talking to you or may ignore you. Here’s where marriage counseling comes in. Marriage counseling is a psychotherapy that helps couples understand their problems and how they can resolve them. If you don’t know when to seek marriage counseling, then you should definitely know what the signs that tell you to do so are.

Signs That Tell Tou To Seek Marriage Counseling

Communication is vital to keeping a healthy marriage life and will be a setback if you lose this connection with your spouse. And when you do get to speak to your partner, the conversation leads to arguments. These are clear signs that you should seek marriage counseling aid and the issues will only get worse as you continue to ignore them.

It’s very normal for married couples to talk about every small detail they like and dislike. These can be from their table manners, finances, habits, etc. However, you may feel too scared to speak your mind to your spouse as you don’t want to offend him or her. Marriage counselors will be able to help you build your confidence to tell your partner every detail you would like him or her to know about you.

Being transparent in a respectful way with your spouse will mean that you have a healthy marriage. However, if you begin to keep secrets and avoid sharing your personal experiences with your spouse, then your marriage can be in trouble.

It may also come to a point where you may think of wanting to change your partner’s habits and lifestyle. This is a clear sign that you are no longer happy in your marriage. Your partner can’t necessarily change their habits and basic traits just to please you. Seek marriage counseling immediately, as this will only incur more dissatisfaction toward your spouse.

What You Should Expect In Marriage Counseling

During your first sessions, a marriage counselor will assess the situations and know what your problems are. The counselor will ask you to communicate openly with each other and through that he or she can gain insights in your relationship. The counselor will most likely be able to identify your specific differences and help you come to a resolution that will be suitable for both of you. This is often how a marriage counselor will fix your problem and is a very effective way to mend relationships.

When choosing a marriage counselor, you should try doing research and ask friends or family for referrals. Find out if they had a positive experience in their counseling and know how the counseling sessions have affected their marriage. Get as many positive feedbacks from them to rate the counselor. Narrow down your choices and then see the counselor yourself.

September 7, 2018

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Couple Counseling Tips On Arguing With Your Partner

By Doug | Couples Therapy | No Comments

Disagreements are normal in any new relationship. You will have your own likes and dislikes that may contradict your partner’s likes and dislikes. We are all different individuals, which is why it’s always important to discuss them with your partner. Arguments will always happen in any relationship and these healthy arguments can have positive effects on your relationship. So how can you engage in positive relationship-building arguments?

Tips On How To Engage In Arguments

Being in an argument can sometimes release your anger. Anger can affect the way you talk and can sometimes enable you to use foul or extreme language. Words that you don’t normally use may come out based on your frustration and emotion, but they aren’t really true. If you are angry and wish to converse with your partner, then try to think about your words first or step back and let yourself cool down.

Letting your partner know your thoughts and what you would like to happen can help strengthen your relationship. In most cases when you are in an argument, you will likely point out what are the flaws of your partner and say that you don’t like it. However, this can be quite offensive to some people which may fuel their anger and try to push negative thoughts back at you. Your partner should know your thoughts and the best way to do that is to simply tell them, “I feel this when you do this, but I would like it if you do this instead.” Giving your partner your thoughts and ideas can help them to try matching your preference.

Most individuals in arguments don’t allow each other to speak their mind and will often exchange words without taking their partner’s thoughts into consideration. If you know that you are about to have an argument, then it’s important that you listen to your partner and let them speak without being interrupted. Let your partner speak their mind and think about what he or she is saying to you. Try to see things from their point of view. You can validate where they’re coming from, even if you don’t agree with them. You’ll be able to think of your own statements or perhaps a solution in this kind of approach.

What Do Counselors Suggest When An Argument Gets Out Of Hand?

One major cause of a break-up is when couples are arguing too much that one decides to start threatening to end their relationship. We are simply overwhelmed by our emotions during an argument. You love your partner, which is why you are arguing. However, if it does come to a point where you can’t handle the argument much longer, then take a time out instead. It’s always better to hold an argument and ask for a break; this will give you and your partner time to think about the argument. It’s important to then use this time to calm yourself down.

Choosing the right time to argue is also a great way to start healthy arguments. Never engage your partner when he or she is in a bad mood. This will only increase their frustration and can take it out on you during the argument. The best way for you to engage your partner in healthy arguments is to be with a professional counselor. Not only will you both be able to speak your minds, you’ll both be able to get ideas and solutions that can further strengthen your relationship.